sadlegs

I just took a shower. I like taking a shower just after I've had a handful of anxiety pills. I felt a bit slow-motion before. Nothing cool happened. WoW was still on 46% loading and I got nostalgic thinking of being a depressed bulimic living in Gothenbourg. And so I thought: Fuck this. I smell bad and I'm bored. Lezz have a shower and some drugs pumping here sweetie.
I feel much better now. Or well, blank. My tongue is numb.

As a teen I always pictured myself being a medicine junkie. I don't know why. I was just a loser with no future. I could never be a junkie though. Everything gets predictable after a while, plus it's a sucky scene.

I wish I could write something fantastic. During one of my daily naps I dreamt I had written a paragraph that just blew me away. In my dream I showed greynotreal  and she just went gaga for it. I think it was about a guy dominating in WoW, but it was actually super intellectual in a drunken sort of way. I'd compaire my dream paragraph with Carlton Mellick III. So good I think I stole it from someone else's subconscious.

I'm having menstrual cramps like a motherfucker. My hair's dirty and ragged. My face is all shiny and puffy and I'm drinking beer all by myself. Watching Real House Wives of Orange County. I watched some fetish stuff earlier because my new computer is fantastic, it doesn't lag. I used to hate it when I saw something sexy and it would go wroooom schwooom dooooom.

On Thursday I'm gonna go to Gothenbourg for my brother's birthday. I'm supposed to have a speech ready but I'll write it on the bus down. I don't see the point of perfecting a speech for days and days when you can just write something funny and hopefully lovingly in a rush. When I get too much time I don't write what I feel. I write what a better version of me would feel. And I'm not interested in that.

Got the book about Broder Daniel today. They're brilliant. Best pop group Sweden ever did produce.
When I was 14 I constantly daydreamed about Henrik kidnapping me in school and that he would take me for a joy ride in a blue Volvo.

Jesus Christ Allmighty I'm working so fucking much! I'm SO PAID. I just love calling my parents and talk about my job because it gives me a sense of worth. I usually do it after work when I'm a bit wired up. Then I call Daddy and smoke a fag and boasts about my contribution to society. He loves that. He gets crazy proud.


Gonna plan a sweet holiday for me and my lovely fuzzy friend Sandra. Hitting the streets of London, possibly seducing a couple of faggots, and drinking a lot of swedish hard liquor!!!

My boss even  threw in a little extra moolah for my holiday to encourage me of staying or w/e. I'm staying!

Me and Sandra are watching way too many documentaries on serial killers.
I hate people who loves that kind of shit.
But I don't hate mehself :D

LOL I*m actually thinking about tattooing EAT ME, DRINK ME on my neck.

What if I'd get a 'shroom....and a bottle.....................
FUCK IT*S THE LAMEST IDEA EVER.

I mean just the words are fine. That's cool. I want people to eat me. But the food and stuff it would look like bulimia paradise or summink. ON MY FUCKING NECK.

Blerghh...I know where this is coming from. Me getting a total girl boner whenever I think of Marilyn Manson (read: ALL THE TIME APPEARANTLY). Maybe I could just prick myself with an inky needle all over my stomach like fuck I dunno "IF I WAS YOUR VAMPIRE" LOL ahahahah I'm going nuts.

I played MM to T today (the autistic girl). She ended up puking all over me. That says it all really. I'm so getting that tattoo.

1. Do you like this person?
Do I! He's a yummy, yummy man! So manly! Gosh, he's my dream guy! Y'know how I like my men, old and crazy!

2. How do you call this person?
Dixon Sexbridge. What what, HOW? I dial his number. That which I do not have.

3. Which color do you associate with this person?
Titanium.

4. Looking at his/her character, what blood type do you think he/she have?
----

5. What do you want to tell this person?
You and me in a tent in the wilderness on a snowy mountain - N O W

6. What do you want to do with this person: hug, kiss or shake hands?
Get between his legs.

I'm a fucking loser when it comes to money.

I need an extra job but I can't stand the search. And I don't know what kind of extra gig I could do? Please give me some ideas. I can only think in fields of prostitution and I don't want that.

My boss have asked me how I manage economically since she offered me a second job at her kindergarten which I turned down because I got freaked out by all the kids. I actually told my boss I'm suffering from anxiety and that the kids didn't help lol.

I love New Years resolutions! There's nothing more annoying than peeps who are all like "NAAAH my NYR will be to have no NYR". I love love love people who are all "work out 3 times a week, stop smoking, get skinny, get a new pet" It just moves me like nothing else.

2009 will be this:

HAPPINESS. I'm so happy at the moment anyway, I'm sure the rest of the year will be FANTASTIC.
Finally growing up.
Gettin' sum.
Losing 15 kilos without losing my mind (I've -haven't- seen this happen before!!)
Taking my meds like a good little girl.
Stop acting like life owes me something.
Finding a great club in Stockholm that I will visit frequently
Lvl 80

OUR APARTMENT!
GL means closet btw ;(

And not one but two bathroom sinks! GURL TYEM HAXX! We're gonna be powdering our noses and re-applying lipsticks like crazy.

Lol check out my shitty emoticons! That fox is, to quote a Kinks song; "Prediiiiiiiiictaaaabuuuuuuuuuulz that's the word of the yeeeaaaar" Seriously?! Is there a difference from bouncy and bored?!

I'm so glad today because me and Sandra bought boxes. I've been packing and re-arranging and it filled me with a great sense of astablishment I'm pretty unfamilliar with.

Since I'm a dirty slob.

greynotreal turned out to have a fucking lousy day though!! Read her latest entry. Damn girl. What an adventure. What a blood bath.

It's all frightfully romantic.

Pauline Parker: It's Mummy! She's terribly hurt!
Juliet Hulme: Please! Help us!

Erhm.....

I'm going to have a blast packing all my SHIT.

Hey, can you um.....write stuff about me and not reveal who u r? I hear it's really popular on LJ
D:

I'm actually quite upbeat, we're going out!

Worthless: The Doctors.
I think I may bust an organ just watching this show. Those plucky bitches makes me want to commit hate crime. The plastic surgery guy looks like a toasted abdomen, that other guy looks like a paedophile, I don't even know what he is.... child pediatrician whatever. The vagina girl looks like a vagina. And the leader of the wolf pack is nothing but a fucking scum bag! Damn, look at the neck, look at that body, he is so obviously an asshole. I bet if one would ever date him he's the kind of guy who acts all hesitant around you every fucking second and you ask him why and he'd be like "Isn't it that time of the month" or he'd give you all these weird creams and you'd be like "Dude let's talk"

He's such a freak. A plucky bitch.

Looking for an apartment atm, trying to lure my friends, make them live with me. I haven't managed to scare Sandra off just yet and for that I am forever grateful.

EDIT: We were just out and about buying cheese and yoghurt, and I bought Age of Conan lolz. I've just stopped playing WoW because I found it to be a tad gay. Interesting.

I'm free this weekend and I'm going to have a good time damnit.  Saturday me and Sandra and our buddies are going to Ace, a nice club with a mixed range of good indie pop, mediocre indie pop and down right BAD indie pop. They have a techno room, bless their heart.

My job is the best job in the entire world. I'm working in a family, not as a nanny or nuffin, but as an personal assistent who's taking care of their disabled 5 year old. The mother is from China and a total sweetheart, the dad is hilarious and they have two other daughters who I am convinced will be my future bosses someday, or leaders of the world.

This weekend's gonna rock! Watching Land of the Dead tonight on the telly, clubbing Saturday night and having dinner with Sandra's friends who are cooking vegetarian haggis on Sunday.

I put two condoms in my wallet yesterday just to create a good vibe in my everyday life It doesn't mean squat really, more like a lucky charm to convince myself that I don't need to be a stiff bitch about everything. I dunno, it just puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it.